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preparing for a puppy!!!!

How to prepare for the arrival of your puppy:

Pour cold apple juice onto the carpet at different spots then walk around in the dark, barefoot.
Wear a sock that has been through a meat grinder.
Right after you wake up step outside into the rainy dark morning and repeat:
"good dog, go potty, come on, hurry up"
Put hair onto your best clothes. Use light hair on dark clothes and dark hair on light clothes.
Put some dog hair into your morning coffee.
Play "catch" with a wet and slimy tennis ball.
Run barefoot through the snow to close th front gate.
Pour your freshly washed clothes onto the floor and scatter them around the house.
Leave your underwear on the floor of your living room, your puppy will drag it there anyway.
(Especially when visitors are around).
Jump out of your comfy chair right before your favourite Tv program ends, run to the door crying:
"No!No! Do that outside!" Miss the end of your program.
Pour chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning and leave it there until you get back from work.
Take a screwdriver and carve some holes into one leg of your dining table.
Take a warm soft blanket, right out of the drier and wrap it around you.
That is the feeling you'll have when the puppy falls asleep in your lap.
 
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